Given the astoundingly low number of COVID-19 cases in Victoria, restrictions were recently lifted allowing home visits to occur. So last weekend we accepted an invitation to a socially distanced dinner party with four of our friends.
I have been self-isolating for months, unsure of the impact COVID-19 would have on my already challenging health issues. In that time, I have switched to a very restrictive low histamine diet as a result of much research and the subsequent discovery that the worst of my symptoms are undeniably aligned with the amount of histamine I ingest. I was nervous about catching up with people, but most of all I was worried about how I was going to navigate a meal cooked by somebody else. I decided I had a number of options to choose from.
Don’t go. A safe option to be sure, but unsustainable. And let’s face it, not a great way to maintain friendships.
Ask the cook to divulge every ingredient that went into the meal. Not only would this be awkward, but I have discovered that many people will unintentionally omit ingredients they don’t consider important such as stock/broth and table salt – both huge triggers for me.
Take my own food. This might be a good option in future but on this night I spent so long trying to figure out how to handle the situation I ran out of time to prepare anything appropriate. Vegetables alone would not fill me up and meat must be eaten immediately after cooking to keep the level of histamine as low as possible. In addition, there is the awkwardness of producing your own meal and having to explain to everybody why you decided to BYO at a catered event.
Catch up for after dinner drinks instead. I did consider this but realised that food generally dominates the dinner parties I attend, with three courses generally stretched over almost the entire evening. And I am not a night owl at all so by the time we would have been ready to head off either the gathering would have been almost over or I would have been nodding off on the couch. Or both.
Eat beforehand and abstain at the dinner party. This is the option I chose and it was both good and bad. My husband cooked for me as I was getting ready and I ate just before we left. So far, so good. I had told the host of my dilemma on the phone, although I still can’t remember if I mentioned that I am eating a restricted diet for medical reasons. Either way, of four of our friends, only one of them was aware that I would not be participating in the shared dinner. Needless to say, as the eating started, I began to feel a little awkward. So awkward in fact, that I helped myself to a couple of pieces of potato and pumpkin even though I had no idea how they had been prepared. I regretted it within hours as I ended up with a reaction before we even left the table; the right side of my face being an embarrassing barometer of a higher than expected ingestion of histamine.
The truth is that these friends are absolutely lovely and probably had no idea how uncomfortable I was throughout the meal. If I am honest, the manner in which I deal with my next shared dining experience has still not been resolved. Food dominates so many of our social interactions – from catching up for coffee, sharing cake at celebrations and of course dinner parties that are so common for people of my age.
No matter how I play it, I think there will always be awkwardness on my part while my dietary restrictions are in place.
Of course, this makes me even more determined to stick to the diet. My understanding is that there is every chance that at some point I may be able to eat more normally again if I can manage to reduce my histamine levels to a more reasonable state. Right now, I would settle for the ability to withstand the occasional unrestricted meal, symptom free.
Watch this space ❤️